Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

Don’t think I’m weird y’all but when I’m discouraged one of my favorite songs to sing to myself is from the Wiz.

There is a place we’ll go
Where there is mostly quiet
Flowers and butterflies
A rainbow lives beside it

And from a velvet sky
A summer storm
You can feel the coolness in the air
But you’re still warm

And then a mighty roar
Will start the sky to crying
But not even lightning
Will be frightening
My lion

And with no fear inside
No need to run
No need to hide
You’re standing strong and tall
You’re the bravest of them all

If on courage you must call
Then just keep on trying
And trying
And trying
You’re a lion
In your own way
BE A LION!

I have a test in the morning, I’ve been singing all day!

Well at least I hope the stalker is gone…..

So where do I start. Well the Bug-A-Boo, herein referred to as Below Average Joe (BAJ) finally understands that no means no but that get some gone means just that… get some gone!

So as BAJ has blown up my phone for an entire week, he finally got tired of leaving the daily voicemail and decided to text message me. And it went a little something like this:

BAJ: What’s up with you? Do you ever get a chance to come up for air?
Me: I could if I wanted to.
BAJ: Why wouldn’t you? [can we say clueless ladies and gents]
Me: Hey Joe, I have been trying to come up with a nice way to say this but I am just not interested in you. U are a nice guy but we just don’t click like that.
BAJ: [and I won’t type this exactly the way he wrote it b/c I have embarassed dude enough so I won’t point out his country grammar… we’ll just work with my interpretation]: That’s cool. If you do not feel me. If you won’t then there are those that will. Peace out! Have a nice life.

and just a few minutes later:
BAJ: That is cool. You probably think you are too good for me. If you won’t like me theen there is always somebody. Peace! [and who ae u trying to convince, me or you]
Me: [and yes I know better than to engage the nuts in conversation]: It is not that I think that I am too good for you. That is quite unfair of you. I just am not feeling you.

BAJ: I just wanted to be your friend. I do not want you to think I’m thirsty, I’m not. I am disappointed in you. I just wanted to show you how I treat my firends. Maybe you have alot on your plate!

now let us start with the basics-
1- How many text messages does this require? I am not feeling you… okay, fine buhbye.
2- I’m slanglishly challenged sometimes but thirsty?? Dude has me feeling like a Big Gulp.
3- If all your messages start with “hey beautiful” or “hey baby” why would I think you were just trying to be my friend.

So I think I have finally gotten rid of BAJ. I’m knocking on wood, crossing my fingers, doing a stay away dance. Unfortunately I’m going to see him again at alumni functions but whoooo doggy does it feel good to be free. Next time I’m gonna take my girl’s advice and stop telling these bamas what I am doing with my life. From now on, I sew the tags on mattresses. These cats hear that I will be a doctor soon and they start seeing me as their future child support check… how about NOOOOO!

There are several ways the phrase “you make me wanna….” could end. It could end with … be a better woman, ….. leave the one I’m with, or even …. think about a future”.

But no ladies and gents today’s topic ends in …. “throw my pager out the window, tell mci to cut the phone off, break my lease so I can move”… that’s right… the proverbial Bug-A-Boo!

And to think.. this one didn’t come from my dalliance with the internet. Yep met this one the old fashioned way, face to freaking face!

So for brevity, lets just call him BAJ (Below Average Joe). Met him at a college alumni mixer, nice enough guy, funny, not horribly bad on the eyes but no head-turner, full set of fairly white teeth. Didn’t ask for my number that night. No problem!

Saw him at another alumni event a few weeks later. He asked for the magic 7 (that would be the digits). Now me being newly back on the block after 13 years, I didn’t realize he needed further screening. After all, he’s a college graduate, sounds intelligent in person, what else do I need to know. I know I know… didn’t see the Krazy Glue on his hands. This mug is now stuck to me like I got the Golden Ticket!

He started blowing up the phone that night! 3 phone calls… 3 messages. I called back, no conversation! That should have been enought right there… but I’m a glutton for the punishment yes. He called the next 3 days in a row. I was busy but I did humor him for a sec. Finally he called and I was available so he asked could he see me. I said ’sure, where would you like to go?’ What was his reply???? “Ummmmm, I don’t really have no ends right now.” STOP THE MADNESS!!! So you think you can just sit up on my couch in the middle of the summer… how about no! But me being the nice person that I am, and wanting to give the brother a shot (yeah I know.. not the brightest idea, but what the hay) I say, “it’s summer we can do something free or cheap. We can go to the lake or something”. It rained so I suggested we go for ice cream.. his answer “ummmmm, are you treating?” DIZZAM dude! But me being the charitable spirit that I am… I said sure no problem. He proceeds to tell me how he had to borrow gas money from his mom to come visit me and how he is working a barely minimum wage job right now b/c academic type jobs gave him medical issues. Yo.. I wish I was making this up! Dude.. have some shame! No ambition at all… dude has a COLLEGE degree in a field that is very broad and open to many different types of positions. But anyway I digress. I went out with this guy one more time to try to let him down easy. I know… didn’t see the Krazy Glue!!! I even tried to make it about me. You know, just got out of a marriage, not sure if I’m ready… we could be friends. He took me out for pizza (hadn’t done that since High School). We went to the movies that next week, because 30 year old naive me thought that since we had the friends talk and a friend is a friend…. movies are not personal. Mistake!

So this cat is STILL blowing up my phone 3 months later! I even had my best friend (who is a guy) answer my phone to try to get rid of him. I have not gone out with him since the movies a month or 2 ago, I never initiate a call to him (not that I would need to … he’s just gonna call again). I got to put on my mean hat and just let him know in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that his time is up!

Now I’m not saying I’m a gold digger.. but I sure as hell ain’t messing with any more broke, non-ambitious Nigras!!! And somebody please tell me how to dissolve “Krazy Glue”

I can’t deal with the hurricane news at all! I am a proud Xavier University graduate and I just can’t believe that my home away from home is in such a state. Things like this make you realize just how precious life is. I have been in contact with some of my line sisters to make sure they are okay and that their families are safe. So far, thank you Lord, most are okay. There are still a few we haven’t heard from. I have one or two other friends in New Orleans for whom I am intensely praying.

I’ve already committed myself to making a donation to Xavier University and a smaller donation to the Chicago Alumnae chapter of XULA to assist students in getting home. I can’t begin to imagine being a freshman in a new city and having something like this happen.

I can’t even look at the pictures. Each picture for me holds some kind of personal memory… a hot date, a favorite restaurant, a secret study location… everything!

Remember to tell someone you love and appreciate them today!