There are several ways the phrase “you make me wanna….” could end. It could end with … be a better woman, ….. leave the one I’m with, or even …. think about a future”.

But no ladies and gents today’s topic ends in …. “throw my pager out the window, tell mci to cut the phone off, break my lease so I can move”… that’s right… the proverbial Bug-A-Boo!

And to think.. this one didn’t come from my dalliance with the internet. Yep met this one the old fashioned way, face to freaking face!

So for brevity, lets just call him BAJ (Below Average Joe). Met him at a college alumni mixer, nice enough guy, funny, not horribly bad on the eyes but no head-turner, full set of fairly white teeth. Didn’t ask for my number that night. No problem!

Saw him at another alumni event a few weeks later. He asked for the magic 7 (that would be the digits). Now me being newly back on the block after 13 years, I didn’t realize he needed further screening. After all, he’s a college graduate, sounds intelligent in person, what else do I need to know. I know I know… didn’t see the Krazy Glue on his hands. This mug is now stuck to me like I got the Golden Ticket!

He started blowing up the phone that night! 3 phone calls… 3 messages. I called back, no conversation! That should have been enought right there… but I’m a glutton for the punishment yes. He called the next 3 days in a row. I was busy but I did humor him for a sec. Finally he called and I was available so he asked could he see me. I said ’sure, where would you like to go?’ What was his reply???? “Ummmmm, I don’t really have no ends right now.” STOP THE MADNESS!!! So you think you can just sit up on my couch in the middle of the summer… how about no! But me being the nice person that I am, and wanting to give the brother a shot (yeah I know.. not the brightest idea, but what the hay) I say, “it’s summer we can do something free or cheap. We can go to the lake or something”. It rained so I suggested we go for ice cream.. his answer “ummmmm, are you treating?” DIZZAM dude! But me being the charitable spirit that I am… I said sure no problem. He proceeds to tell me how he had to borrow gas money from his mom to come visit me and how he is working a barely minimum wage job right now b/c academic type jobs gave him medical issues. Yo.. I wish I was making this up! Dude.. have some shame! No ambition at all… dude has a COLLEGE degree in a field that is very broad and open to many different types of positions. But anyway I digress. I went out with this guy one more time to try to let him down easy. I know… didn’t see the Krazy Glue!!! I even tried to make it about me. You know, just got out of a marriage, not sure if I’m ready… we could be friends. He took me out for pizza (hadn’t done that since High School). We went to the movies that next week, because 30 year old naive me thought that since we had the friends talk and a friend is a friend…. movies are not personal. Mistake!

So this cat is STILL blowing up my phone 3 months later! I even had my best friend (who is a guy) answer my phone to try to get rid of him. I have not gone out with him since the movies a month or 2 ago, I never initiate a call to him (not that I would need to … he’s just gonna call again). I got to put on my mean hat and just let him know in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that his time is up!

Now I’m not saying I’m a gold digger.. but I sure as hell ain’t messing with any more broke, non-ambitious Nigras!!! And somebody please tell me how to dissolve “Krazy Glue”