Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

Well at least I hope the stalker is gone…..

So where do I start. Well the Bug-A-Boo, herein referred to as Below Average Joe (BAJ) finally understands that no means no but that get some gone means just that… get some gone!

So as BAJ has blown up my phone for an entire week, he finally got tired of leaving the daily voicemail and decided to text message me. And it went a little something like this:

BAJ: What’s up with you? Do you ever get a chance to come up for air?
Me: I could if I wanted to.
BAJ: Why wouldn’t you? [can we say clueless ladies and gents]
Me: Hey Joe, I have been trying to come up with a nice way to say this but I am just not interested in you. U are a nice guy but we just don’t click like that.
BAJ: [and I won’t type this exactly the way he wrote it b/c I have embarassed dude enough so I won’t point out his country grammar… we’ll just work with my interpretation]: That’s cool. If you do not feel me. If you won’t then there are those that will. Peace out! Have a nice life.

and just a few minutes later:
BAJ: That is cool. You probably think you are too good for me. If you won’t like me theen there is always somebody. Peace! [and who ae u trying to convince, me or you]
Me: [and yes I know better than to engage the nuts in conversation]: It is not that I think that I am too good for you. That is quite unfair of you. I just am not feeling you.

BAJ: I just wanted to be your friend. I do not want you to think I’m thirsty, I’m not. I am disappointed in you. I just wanted to show you how I treat my firends. Maybe you have alot on your plate!

now let us start with the basics-
1- How many text messages does this require? I am not feeling you… okay, fine buhbye.
2- I’m slanglishly challenged sometimes but thirsty?? Dude has me feeling like a Big Gulp.
3- If all your messages start with “hey beautiful” or “hey baby” why would I think you were just trying to be my friend.

So I think I have finally gotten rid of BAJ. I’m knocking on wood, crossing my fingers, doing a stay away dance. Unfortunately I’m going to see him again at alumni functions but whoooo doggy does it feel good to be free. Next time I’m gonna take my girl’s advice and stop telling these bamas what I am doing with my life. From now on, I sew the tags on mattresses. These cats hear that I will be a doctor soon and they start seeing me as their future child support check… how about NOOOOO!