Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

Well since O is taking shoe suggestions on his page, I thought I’d share my new favorite shoe website http://phatpimpclothing.com Yes ladies and gents the pimps have taken over the planet and they done gone high tech too! Shame ain’t it. Next thing you know Velvet Jones really will be selling his book “I wanna be a ho”.

Speaking of pimperiffic … why does my horoscope (and I’m not always into that kinda thing) repeatedly refer to the fact that several men will soon be clamoring for my attention. First thing I wanna know is WHEN ???? and the second is LAWD are they at least not hard on the eyes??? Now I have had 1 or 2 new fellas making an appearance in my life, one is not on my radar as a prospective (but he is good people) and the 2nd is someone I have been getting to know better lately. But why oh why did Below Average Joe feel the urge to ring my phone yesterday???!!! In a minute he should get tired of feeling like Ger.ald Le.Vert singing “Answering Service”. [I think in songs quite frequently and why am I suddenly singing “Mr Telephone Man”— ha!]. And to make a playas day even stranger, a guy who I was CRAZY about for a very very long time (very twisted history, might blog about it one day) decided to do something he absolutely NEVER does … initiated an email conversation. Does this mean that something serious is getting ready to go down in my life? I’m not sure I’m ready!

So I didn’t forget that I was planning to fill y’all in on the rest of the weekend.

Let’s start with I.HO.P at 2am! Now I know every city has to have a jail but did every patron of the Galveston I.HO.P have to look like they just got out!!!! One of my girls is married and has been living in the burbs for 6 or 7 years and let’s just say she was not quite used to “our” people in the wee hours of the morning. She just sat there looking like somebody might jump out from behind the counter and snatch her purse. But I digress…. one chick had on this TIGHT (and I don’t mean as in good looking) denim skirt with a huge gold lame belt. Now if you are more than healthy… must you call more attention to yourself?? And of course when she was done…. she left out that bad boy with the belt wide open! Then a fight nearly breaks out and they have to escort a dude out of the fine dining establishment! NUTS! My girl was a little tipsy by then and had told us the EXACT same story roughly 3 times in 2 hours. She cracks me up!

Before I get to my wedding story… let me just say that the liquor store in Galveston was like no other I have ever seen and I grew up in the for real hood in Chicago! Where else can you get your check cashed in the same spot where you are gonna get your liquor! Craziness!!! First of all there was a motorcycle parked inside… yes I said INSIDE the liquor store! Next there was motor oil and fuel injection treatments right next to the snack cakes. And to top it all off the owner let his 75lb dog roam around the store. And of course the patrons were quite fitting for the location. One chick looked to be about 7 months pregnant (well at least I hope she was pregnant) was picking up her 2 40 oz bottles of beer (yes 40s like in Boyz in the Hood). Most of the dudes were missing more than a few teeth and the ones they did have looked like Indian Corn (yuck!)

The rehearsal lunch was at one of the Galveston hotels. Let’s just say that I am a bit of a snob and was not pleased about getting all dressed up to have a burger! Especially since we didn’t really rehearse the wedding ceremony at all.. we just got some brief instructions. The bride was almost 2 hours late for the event because she was getting her hair done. Good thing they make such wonderful whiskey and cokes at the bar!

Okay… on to the day of the wedding. My girl and I got up early to get ready and fix our god-daughters hair for the wedding. They are the most adorable little 4 and 6 year olds on the planet. And yes I can say that because it’s true! Their mom, who I have been friends with for 25 years, has been wearing her hair natural with a little texturizer for the past 3 or 4 years now. When she first stopped perming her hair and got the texturizer, I was a bit shocked mostly because she didn’t look happy. Now you know how girls are, the bride called me one day and said “what are we gonna do with her hair for the wedding? It’s really long! You haven’t seen it!” I was all prepared for her to look like “Puff the Magic Negro” when she rolled up. My girl T is the resident stylist so we all knew that whatever she looked like.. T would hook her up just like she did for my wedding. But she gets there and her hair is really cute. She has it cut into a cute shape and it looks really good with her features. But why oh why did the bride tell T the same thing.. and you know what happened… T told my girl what the bride said knowing that it would hurt her feelings. My girl has some self-esteem things that are truly unfounded. Matter of fact, I told her that she needs to get some new voices for her head, because the ones she has are liars! She is a beautiful woman and she is even smaller than the rest of us after having 2 kids. We convinced her that her hair looked fine (I’m sure the bride will have commentary later) but what the hay! We were three of the sassiest bridemaids that ever were!

Except for one tiny problem… THE SHOES! All three pair were too big (the right foot on all of them was bigger than the left!) So we looked a hot mess by the foot. We were basically wearing strappy flip flops. But hell we didn’t care, what could we really do about it! So we rocked those bad boys like they were a perfect fit!

The wedding was on the Ro.yal Ca.rribb.ean cruise ship before sailing. There were about 40 people in attendance (not enough for all the expense if you ask me) which included the entire bridal party. The ship was really nice! The food was fabulous and the rum punch was ever flowing!! I’m gonna be in big trouble when I go on the cruise with my mom in December (i’m working out now!) . Overall we had a good time mostly because we were all together but I don’t know if I would have gone through all that expense. We could have had a ceremony in the backyard of their home. And I most definitely wouldn’t take my family on my blasted honeymoon! The bride looked gorgeous and the groom cleaned up well. They aren’t the most flashy couple on earth so it was nice to see them dressed up for a change!

So overall travel review…. I drank alot, I hung with my girls…. a good time was had by all! Was it worth the money???? Not really but you only live once.

Well I’m back from the wedding! Proud to say that I actually did not think about my divorce all weekend. I flew into Houston on Thursday and was met by my girl and her friend in a rented Excursion. The Excursion is a bus!!!! I didn’t even need a hotel room, I could have slept in the truck and had room for a friend. The wedding events were in Galveston so we drove to Galveston after a pit stop for grub. We tried to stop at a steakhouse but they close at 10pm (soooo early for a restaurant near an airport) so we ended up at Chili’s.

Chili’s … let’s just say commercial gimmicky restaurants usually aren’t my thing. I love to mess with waitstaff though! Surprising how much better your service is when you interact with the waiter! But let’s just say I met my match. This waiter was so cheery I wanted to check his nose for coke residue! He almost blew me away with his overly enthusiastic lemonade plug… I mean seriously… I just really didn’t want lemonade, no matter how many thousands of flavors you offer. But the salmon was tasty so I was a happy camper.

I really don’t like Houston as a city but Galveston (on the surface) wasn’t so bad at all. Hotel was right on the beach, and they didn’t charge me the outrageous room rate I was originally quoted so needless to say… a poverty stricken lady was content for the moment. Until the ants! Yes ladies and gents, the hotel was visited by more than a few ants. The bigger problem was that every place was booked solid so I had to just suck it up and hope they didn’t bite me on my pinky toe.

Friday was a getting to know you bbq at the bride and grooms house. Well we kinda sorta missed most of that because we really needed some Pappadeaux. Crab fingers and lemonade enhanced with vodka-soaked pineapple… whoooo yuppppp!!!! Then we stopped at a libations expert for some extra flavorings for the night. I’m not usually a Hennessey person but what the heck, I was on vacation!

We were supposed to have a girls night out on Friday but let’s just say those plans fell through. The bride, and we love her dearly, decided she didn’t want to go out after we trekked all the way back to Galveston to go out there. Yeah…. that didn’t go over well with the girls. But we decided to go to IH.OP and catch up on what’s going on with everyone since it’s been at least 3 years since we have all been together. IH.OP in Galveston at 2am… tommorow’s blog topic because there was enough comedy in there to last a minute.

Blogging from Galveston Texas which is not a bad little city considering my disdain for Houston. Spending more money than a jobless fundless woman should but what the hay, if I am forced to come here, might as well have a good time.

So I’m here for the wedding of one of my really good friends. My first wedding since my separation and I’m handling it pretty well. It’s great to be with my girls, didn’t realize how much I missed them until I was sitting in IHOP at 2am catching up on lives. I’m in the wedding but I’m not really dreading it as much as I expected to. Probably because I’m healing very well with the additional help of a special person, and maybe because dammit it’s soooo time to move on with my life. The bride is a bossy chick that we love to death even if sometimes we want to strangle her and the groom is a good guy so this should be worth it.

But the funny thing is …. I woke up this morning feeling restless! Don’t know what’s overtaking my thoughts because it won’t express itself. It’s just a gnawing in my soul right now that I wish would go on and speak its peace so that I can feel more grounded. I get these sometimes and this is a mild one so hopefully it will resolve quickly. Sometimes I get them when I have a need to check on a friend who I didn’t know needed me, sometimes it’s a forgotten assignment or bill, and more often than not, it’s a thought that I didn’t even know I was having until it blasts its way out. Sounds quirky I know, this is why I live my life on “the edge of insanity”.

So I realize I never talk about school. It’s such a huge part of my life and I haven’t ventured not even one post about it.

So I just finished a two week adolescent medicine rotation. I love teenagers! They’re my absolute favorite patient population. Adolescence is such a weird time… not really fully adult but yet not a child anymore. Many of my colleagues don’t understand the need for adolescent medicine as a special clinic. Teenagers appreciate having adults talk to them and actually listen to what they are saying! I like them because I can yell at them and they understand precisely what I’m saying.

So these past couple weeks I’ve experienced things that I KNOW I couldn’t have related to in my younger days.

First, the Adolescent HIV clinic. While I know that there’s a growing population of young minorities with HIV, putting faces to this epidemic was too much for me. These kids were not IV drug users, homeless, or infected by birth. Yep, they got it the old fashioned way… 10 toes up and 10 toes down knees wide open! It’s devastating to see young people who once felt invincible having to live a life of medical visits and pills. This of course is why abstinence only education DOES NOT work.. we need to talk to our children!!!!! I never ever ever tell my patients not to have sex, I tell them to think about what they’re doing. I met a 21 year old who has been infected for 3 years from her boyfriend. Her family doesn’t understand her, they think she’s making excuses, she can’t find work. Man, I am just too sensitive for this line of work.. I wanted to take her home with me.

Then, I had the opportunity to visit the Adolescent Weight Loss Clinic. I met a 15 year girl who at 5 foot 3 inches, weighed 400 lbs. She recently had lap-band surgery and was in the office for an adjustment. While I am okay with the teens being able to get the surgery, I think it is a tremendous shame that there is a need for it in our society.

I also spent a large chunk of my rotation counseling teens about sex, drugs, parent involvement, and self-esteem. The hardest thing about being a medical student is that once I get rapport with my patients, it’s usually time to move on to something else. I look forward to having my own patients who come for return visits that I can follow for years and years.