Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

So I won’t give anybody credit for this one since I’ve seen it on EVERYBODY’s page:

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
Define good. If by good you mean am I still alive and kicking, yes. If by good you mean I’m being set up for bigger and better things, yes!

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
Getting a passing score on my boards finally!

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
My least favorite would have to be the day that I finally knew that my marriage was over.

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
At a party with my then-husband. I had my money in my hands.

5) Who were you with?
The Ex

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
I really don’t know right now. I will probably be at my family’s New Years party but I am trying to find something more fun to do.

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
Probably family. This will be the first year in 15 years that I won’t have a special someone to kiss at midnight … oh well

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
Didn’t make one last year.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
I won’t call it a new year’s resolution. I do have some BIG plans for 2006 b/c this is MY year (watch me work)

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
Yes

11) If yes, with who?
The person inside me who has been hiding for a long time

12) If yes, do they know?
I sure hope so

13) Are you still in love with them?
Absolutely!

14) You regret it?
Who could regret getting to know and love yourself

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
Yes indeed. I ended a 13 year relationship and marriage.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
Yes I did, I made some wonderful new friends and became reacquainted with some old ones.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
No names. The chick I got tight with in March and the guy I met in November are my new favorites

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
March of course! Passed boards, moved in with my sister, had a 30th b-day (which I will be having again in 2006)

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
Yep, went to the Bahamas

20) How many different states have you traveled in 2005?
Maryland, Virginia, South Carolina, Florida, Texas, Wisconsin (I think that’s all)

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
My god-father passed a few days before Christmas.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Yep. I missed some folx that aren’t really gone and some that are.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
Diary of a Mad Black Woman

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
I have no idea at all.

25) What was your favorite album from 2005?
Favorite new one has to be Jamie Foxx (and Lawd knows I’m surprised about that)

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
4

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
It’s a toss up between the free LL concert at the Taste of Chicago and the Frankie Beverly and Maze concert.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
I drank but I didn’t inhale (hell if it works for politicians, it works for me)

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
I don’t do drugs (I should, but I don’t)

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?
Not nearly as many as I wanted to

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Sure did, read the post below this one.

32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2005?
That I was doing well.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
I don’t know, it hasn’t been revealed to me yet.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
Nope

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
Sorta

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
More than I actually have. My MasterCard has been everywhere I wanted to be.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
Opening my psychiatry clerkship exam grade and finding out that I can do anything I set my mind to.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
Dang, didn’t I just answer this. Read my previous post

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 what would it be?
I don’t think there’s any time I would want to do again.

40) What are your plans for 2006?
I got BIG doings for this year. Take better care of me. Lose a smidge of weight. Get out more. Smile more. Make others smile more. And finally graduate from med school!

Ok well I guess I’ll brighten your holidays by posting my holiday embarassment!

So I’m in Maryland visiting my friends. We tend to drink when we’re together and on a normal day, I can handle mine! But of all the days to have issues, here’s what happened.

My friends threw a party because I was in town. My current crush came early. We had lunch and chilled at the house. At 5 or so I had a rum and juice. Followed by 2 cognacs and coke. Followed by a cup of rum punch. At 730, I fell asleep under the dining room table and MISSED THE DAMNED PARTY! I am sooooooooooooo ashamed. My poor crush had to help me get in the bed and apparently at some point in the night I wandered out of bed and wandered around the upstairs. Sweet as my girls and the crush are, they had to keep checking on me. So they were drunk and tired of going up and down the stairs to make sure I was okay!

Now in my defense (as if there is one): I have a cold. I was exhausted. I have been having issues with my equilibrium off and on since I got back from my cruise. I have no friggin idea what happened!

So let’s just say that anything I was working on with the crush, probably done! He was a little hot with me about this incident.

So now that you have had a good laugh… back to the rest of my insane life.

I leave for dreary Chicago tonight. Back to work on Wednesday. I start my surgery rotation so life will truly suck! Long hours and standing up all day.

This morning’s question comes from the book of “Oh Hell Naw” (yeah I know I’m going to hell, I’m stocking up on fans and icebergs and what not).

The question is, “Why is is that after you end a relationship with someone, they sure manage to be able to do all the things they wouldn’t do for you?”

My ex-husband (who I had a surprisingly pleasant conversation with last night) informed me that he has recently been attending my church. Now I would never want to stop anyone from praising the Lord but do you have to do it where I do! Now for the 13 years we were together, he was a Catholic. I never asked him to convert but I did want him to experience church with me so that we could choose a place of worship together. He always refused. My mom got him a subscription to our church magazine (which I swear I have never seen him read) and that didn’t spur him to attend my church but now that we are divorced he wants to wander to my house of worship. I mean seriously, where could this be coming from? Hopefully he won’t catch me on a bad day and run into me at church. I may have to, in the immortal words of Oran Juice Jones, “run up on him, whip out the jammy and pull a rambo” but for now I guess I’ll chill.

Anyhoo, got the wig tossed this morning. Heading out on vacation in a half hour so I best be pushing on. I’m way to adorable to let other folx ruin my party!

Okay so I’m sitting here watching the “Bei.ng Bob.by Bro.wn” Christmas special:

I got lots to say:
1. Is Bo.bby’s barber in prison??? His head looks a bloogy mess! Why on earth did he get the braids?! He needs to have an up-close and personal with some clippers!

2. What is REALLY going on with Wh.itney’s hair?! I mean seriously, she had to see the cameras, does she enjoy looking like that? I know it’s important to show a new side of your personality but please, we’ve seen it, we don’t like it, fake for us, we’d enjoy it!

3. Please, please Bravo, I’m begging you! Please don’t show closeups of these people any more. They look even worse upclose and personal!

4. I know I’m not the only one that is glad that Bob.bi Kr.is is finally not looking as much like her dad!

5. Why in the name of all that is good in the world do these people have money and I have to live plastic credit card to plastic credit card? I mean seriously, I’m worthy and Lawd knows I’m finally ready!

6. Somebody better teach Bob.bi Kr.is some blasted manners!

On a different note, my wonderful fabulous mommy got me a TIVO for Christmas (even though she has absolutely NO idea what it is or why I want one)! I already have it and it’s up and running! I have been DVRless for the past 9 months (I foolishly gave it to the ex-husband in the settlement). But there was absolutely no way I could start my surgery rotation without the ability to record my favorites whilst I peacefully slumber.

I’m heading off to Maryland to spend the holidays with my friends! If I don’t blog again before Christmas, Merry CHRISTmas, Happy Religious Holidays etc etc. May you get all that you want and not all that you may deserve

Well I have actually been back for a couple days now. Lurked on a few blogs. Got caught up on the lives of the blogging community and now I guess I shall share.

So I’m back in Chicago after a wonderful cruise to the Bahamas and Florida with my mother. This is our first mom and daughter vacation and I suppose I could do it again. My mom is pretty easy to travel with except for one minor problem.

THE WOMAN SNORES LIKE SHE IS TRYING TO SAW DOWN A RAINFOREST TO BUILD A LOG CABIN

I mean seriously, the rooms on the ship are small enough but did I really have to listen to the musical sounds of Congestion. I wanted to roll her off the bed. A couple of times I had to catch myself with the pillow aimed toward her face. J/K I couldn’t kill my mom, she’s one of my favorites.

That coupled with the fact that my not quite 60 year old mother has decided that she is a senior citizen made for quite the interesting vacation! She got up at 5am (yes folks I said the hour between 4 and 6). She and the other oldsters on the ship would hang out on the deck from 530 till 630 then have breakfast as soon as it opened. But I can say I was very proud of my mom, she went to the gym every morning (more than her rum soaked daughter managed to do). Of course I made her go back to breakfast with me at 8 so I don’t know how much of her exercise was wasted hanging out with me.

But anyway, Nassau was beautiful. The 80 degree weather didn’t hurt either. Took a tour in a taxi and bought extremely cheap crap for people at home. Had some fabulous coffee rum cake. Rum was the prevailing theme of my vacation. I tried to incorporate it into each and every day Had the oldest living Negro and her family on the taxi with us. There is definitely a difference between the concerns of our generation and those of our grandparents. These folk wanted to know about poverty, the cost of everything, unemployment, and racism. They just could not fathom that the Baham.as is 80% BLACK and that although there is abject poverty rampant in the country, there are still BLACK people running things! They also seemed to forget that the taxi driver told us he had been to the tourism course so he is surely not going to say too many negative things about his home.

Spent the next day lying by the ocean on the Ro.yal Ca.rib.bean private island. It was only about 75 degrees but that still beats the 25 degree weather in Chicago. Got a bit of a tan (well on me it tends to be I got redder than I was before). Read all of Terry Mc.Mill.an’s new book on the beach. (a good read, despite the fact that she has no judgement in picking men and now that the world knows exactly how ghetto she is I hear her literary voice a bit differently).

The final destination was Key West. It would have been more fun with a group. Mom and I wandered around town for a couple hours and then went back to the ship to lay around in the sun. Wonderful weather yet again.

I would have had a better time if I had more money but it was a wonderful vacation! I would definitely do it again. There were definitely times that I wished I had a man with me to watch the sunsets or cuddle with on the beach but overall I had a good time flirting with all of the cute ship employees.

I’m heading out to Maryland on Thursday to spend Christmas with friends. I’m sure I’ll have something interesting to blog about after I get back. Well I have some interesting things to blog about but they will have to wait till I clear up some issues.

Whoooo!!! I am finished with my Dermatology rotation! Wish I could say I learned something but alas, I spent 2 weeks doing a whole lot of nothing (well other than laughing my head off at that rusty ass dude).

The funny thing is that as medical school winds down (I now have exactly 1 year left), the days get much easier. Then we have to work our butts off in residency. But after having done very little work in the final year of school, I start getting REALLY lazy! I am not planning to complain about that though.

So I took the dumbest test ever written today. It took me longer to clean off the car and warm it up than it did to take the exam. It took 9 minutes to take the 30 question test. And I got an 84 on a test for which I still know NOTHING!

But I am officially on VACATION until DECEMBER 28th. I leave for a cruise with my mom on Monday, I’m home for 5 days and then I am off to Maryland to spend Christmas with my friends. I’m sure the trip with mom will be quite blogworthy. The trip to Maryland will be too but I may have to save those stories for a later date

Now on this nasty snowing awful terrible day (it took me 2 hours to drive home which is usually only 30 minutes even in bad traffic) I get tagged for a meme by Singing

I typed this once and it disappeared so here goes take 2:

5 Random things about Exhausted:
1. I asked my mom to change my name when I was 2. I apparently never liked it (didn’t hurt that it was the name of the daughter of the woman my dad eventually left my mom for 3 yrs later- I’m obviously well in tune with the universe). My mom was reading me a story from a NOI newspaper and I told her that the name of the little girl in the story was my name. She thought I was nutso (and rightly so) but she allowed me to be called that at home. I had it legally changed in 8th grade. So the people who have known me for over 25 years (and there are quite a few) have no idea what the hell to call me sometimes.

2. I hate belts! I think they are the single most unnecessary accessory on the planet! I own 2 and I never ever pack them when I’m traveling. I have enough junk in the trunk to hold up the pants, who needs more layers of undress when u have to potty!

3. I could live the rest of my life on cereal and hot dogs. I actually like hot dogs. And I am fully aware that they are comprised of snout, toe nails and random hair. But all rolled up together with genuine smoke flavor, yumm!

4. I am a ritualistic eater. I think certain things just go together. For example a bologna sandwich needs a boiled egg and a glass of Tahitian Treat. And a bowl of chili requires a cold glass of milk. Weird, I know.

5. I can’t cut straight to save my life. Good thing I don’t want to be a surgeon. I think it’s because I skipped from preschool to 1st grade.

Who should be the victim next??? How about anybody who feels left out because they weren’t tagged! (lazy ain’t I)

What a beautiful day! I’m playing hooky at home today. Well actually, I’m not required to work today but anytime you get to take a Wednesday off, it feels like hooky.

Seems like love and sex have been the topics of choice on many of the blogs I read. I guess all that holiday spirit has people feeling quite warm and fuzzy right now. As this is the first post-divorce holiday season for me, I can’t say I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy about Christmas. I am going to be with friends in DC for Christmas so I suppose I won’t have time (or sobriety) to be concerned with not having a male interest (at least not one that I can blog about yet)

But I of course am not without love in my life so I thought I’d share a random list of things I am loving right now:

1. Thick, warm comforters that feel like a tiny slice of heaven
2. Green River soda in the bottle! A sweet bottle of Hot Damn!
3. Floe.try’s new cd (there are a few slip and fall songs on there)
4. My crazy friends who keep me laughing via email, text messages, and the instant messengers
5. Warm chocolate cookies with ice cold milk
6. Having secrets that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
7. Making plans for my 30th birthday do-over !!! Vegas ain’t hardly ready
8. Spa pedicures (and not from the hole in the wall joints on the corner)
9. German red wines
10. Me me wonderful me !!!! And that’s what’s important!

“Everybody look around, Cause there’s a reason to rejoice you see
Every body wake up, and let’s commence to singing joyfully
Everybody look up, and feel the hope that we’ve been waiting for
Everybody be glad, cuz the signs of fear and dread are gone

Freedom you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
It’s such a change, for us to live so independently
Freedom you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about, you owe it to yourself to check it out!
lyrics and music by the late, great Lut.her Van.dross

What a difference a day makes!

I woke this morning bright and early at 6am (how much better i sleep sans alcohol!). Hauled my self to church and had a good time with the Lord. How about they sang two of my favorite songs on the same day! Now of course my momma was surprised to see me at church at the 730 service in the snow. I go to the 6pm service in the summer b/c it’s cooler outside and it’s still light outside but in the winter, it’s way too dark and cold to go to church at night. Amazing how when you need it most, the sermon and music can speak to a place in your heart that refuses to talk to the rest of the world. The sermon was about not being afraid of what will happen next and being in a spirit of praise for what God is GOING to do. This, as I have said before, is the hardest part of what I am going through right now. I know that the Lord has great things in store for me, because he has already done great and wonderful things in my life.

I took some time for myself this weekend. Got up when the sam hell I felt like it, ate what the heck I wanted, talked to whomever I felt like. It was weird at first, but eventually, I began to enjoy! I am every bit as fabulous as I tell folk I am

Didn’t hurt that the Wiz was on today! How about I love that movie (except the part where they get chased in the subway, that is some scary stuff)! But you see something new in the movie everytime you watch it. Like in the “Brand New Day” sequence, how about I didn’t notice that the men were all wearing butt exposing thongs and the women were wearing full briefs ????

I’m back in Chicago. Funny how a place that means so much to you can hold enough sour memories that it transforms into something so ugly you hate to get on the plane. Maybe because I feel most free when I’m away. The less I have to think about life and actually function, the better life seems.

So at least it didn’t snow as much as anticipated. Just a dusting. But it is cold as a witch’s titty in Chicago!

I am so over living here!!!! I don’t think it’s just the cold weather. I feel stagnant here, like I am not experiencing life, I’m just existing. 16 more months and I am GHOST!!!