Winter is an interesting time. While from the outside it looks like everything is dead, this is a period of preparation. I’ve come to look at this time in my life as my own personal winter. It seems that I don’t have anything really going on, no man, nothing new in school, just trodding along but in reality this is my period of rest and renewal for the upcoming spring. It can be hard to see that the days are getting longer and the sun is staying out just a bit longer because the lengthening is so subtle but I have faith that spring will bring flowers and growth.
So after I resisted the late night booty call from HIM (see previous post), I sat and thought for a long time about the mistakes I have made and the journey that I find myself on. I don’t want somebody else’s somebody and to be quite honest, I’m not sure I am fully prepared for a somebody of my own. The guy I had the crush on was great, what it did for me was to boost the ego just enough that somebody does have an attraction to me and that I’m not at all defective 
I’m glad he doesn’t live here because the pressure of thinking about pursuing a relationship with him is not what I need right now.
So the weekend recap:
I went out to a party this weekend with a good friend from college who lives about an hour away so we don’t hang out as much as either of us would like. It was okay. The DJ is a guy that my friend met on Black People Meet and she wanted to check him out. I guess we had a good time, mostly just laughing at the characters at the club. I did my Christian duty and spent 30 minutes entertaining the conversation of the fugliest dude in the room and I didn’t even allow him to buy me a drink. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea or even think that he could ask for a dance or a phone number. He was nice, despite his physical shortcomings. The DJs friend was kinda cute and later on the DJ told my girl that the friend was checking me out. We’ll see what comes of that.
I spent Sunday with my 13 year old godbrother who we call my child. He’s such a sweet kid and he’s extremely smart (although limited by the short world view of his parents). My mom and I try to expose him to things and remind him that he only has the limits that he places on himself. He is getting ready for high school and I’m trying to keep him encouraged. I remind him that he needs to get good grades because I expect him to go to college. I expect for him to work hard. But I also want him to realize that the magnet high school he’s trying to go to will not be as easy as his elementary school and that he will have some obstacles to overcome. We still have fun when we hang out, I don’t spend very long giving my lectures. I took him to see Und.erw.orld. Not a bad movie (pretty good ending). But do you know that little negroid got the ‘itis and fell asleep in the movie. I sure did wake his little butt up to watch the last 30 minutes of the movie. He only missed about 20 minutes but at $6 for a matinee, oh he’s gonna know what happened in the end!
I made it to evening service at church this week. How about the 2 morning services were about preparing for a new season and how to start a new season in your life and the evening sermon was entitled “Honoring the Past”. A most necessary sermon for me! I am indeed a work in progress and I am working most diligently at remembering the lessons from the past without dwelling too long in the past. I may have to stop by the church and pick up the DVDs for the morning services. My mom said the first service was smoking! Next Friday is the Singles Community First Fridays service and I will definitely be there! (Serenity girl I’m trying) I may even make it in time for the pre-service mixer!
Okay, back to work I suppose. I am on inpatient surgery right now and there isn’t a blasted thing going on I am going to find a quiet corner and catch up on my reading.
