Today started off well. I woke up on time, got to work on time. But things just were crazy all day long!

When I got to work there was a patient dying. I’ve seen a bunch of “codes” in the past but each time, the patient recovered. Today was different. A 47 year old woman died at 8am today from a blood clot in the lungs. She was Black and a lot of people loved her. The room was full with family and friends. So hard to be a bystander at a time like this. My team consists of 8 people, at one time, all 8 were in the room. I excused myself to let the family deal with their loss with some form of dignity. I didn’t participate in her care at all, so there was nothing but my own intellectual curiosity keeping me in the room.

Then my patient, a really nice lady in her late 40’s with asthma and other lung conditions aggravated by the fact that she’s over 400lbs and a former smoker. It’s just amazing how a little kindness touches people. I always make sure my patients understand the technical mumbo-jumbo we speak over their heads, even if it means I have to go back into the room and spend an extra 5 minutes that takes 5 minutes off of my lunch break. It’s important to help people understand what’s going on instead of talking over their heads. It’s a trait I hope I never lose, although with an increasing patient load, it’s easier said than done sometimes.

My second patient, whooooo doggy! She’s the cutest little Hispanic lady who came in pretty jacked up. Not talking, weak, etc. Her family can be a big pain in the arse. The sons are a bit demanding and often rude to staff. The daughters-in-law are really nice but they don’t really know much about the patient. The nurses were pissed off because the sons were rude to them. One nurse asked me if I thought they were racist. I thought about it for a second and then realized that maybe they’re just scared. Not just scared about their mother’s health but scared because they speak very limited English and they’re worried that people are going to mistreat their mother because she can’t communicate with them. The nurse stopped for a second and thought about it and she agreed. Not that this will affect her treatment, but knowing where someone is coming from can help you know how to deal with them.

I’m pretty tired today. My mom and I took my brother out to celebrate his 30th birthday. I know people don’t think you can get addicted to marijuana but anything can be addictive. My brother was a serious weed head for a long time. Didn’t care about the consequences at all. He was arrested a few times, became really anti-social with the family, all the things serious addicts do. He spent 2 months in jail on a trumped up charge that was later dismissed and decided to stop smoking weed. Of course he’s now an alcoholic but at least liquor is legal. He has a felony on his record for a prior crime that he didn’t commit. (and I’m not one of those people who get on tv talking about how my precious little poo-poo wouldn’t hurt nobody, he really didn’t do anything). Thus, he has a hard time finding a job. He just got laid off a week ago so he spent his birthday depressed about the position he’s reached in life thus far. That of course hurts me to the center of my heart because my brother and I are 11 months apart and he’s more like a twin than a younger sibling. But at least this year he took a few hours off from his binge drinking to let my mom and I celebrate what he means to us. I don’t go out too often on work nights (mostly because these blasted people at the hospital expect to see me at 7am) so I’m gonna go straight to bed now! I was supposed to go to a strip show that my sister is throwing (ok I admit it, my fam is a bit ghetto fab but you’d never know it from meeting me) but I’m just gonna have to tell her that there was no way I could do it. G’night!