Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

“I’ve got myself
To remind me of love
I’ve got my and my heart
And I believe in above
These happy feelings
I’ll spread them all over the world
from deep in my soul
I wish you
Happy feelings”
-”Happy Feelings” Maze featuring Frankie Beverly

I could not have had a better weekend! Twenty people came out to celebrate my natal day. My three friends spent a mountain of money paying for food and drinks and whatever else I wanted and I appreciated it all. Almost brought a tear to my eyes to have so many people tell me that I mean something to them. I believe in letting people know just what they mean to you while they are alive rather than boo-hooing over them when they are gone!

Speaking of friends … My friend from med school introduced me to a guy who is really nice, attractive and a gentleman. Only issue I have is that he’s a slow moving gentleman. We’ve hung out a couple times (but only in the presence of my friend) but he has neither given me his number nor asked for mine. I know he’s trying to save some money so I wonder if he just doesn’t want to get into anything because dating is an expensive hobby. I can understand that but we have a good time just laughing and chit chatting and I wouldn’t mind talking on the phone or whatever. I don’t go to strange men’s homes but we’ve hung out a few times and he’s really close to my boy who he knows would beat him down if he mistreated me in any way.

Oh here’s a dating funny. So the guy I was just talking about came out to celebrate my birthday. His friend, my boy, “The Drunk” picked him up. So after my bday party we go back to the car and he goes to the front passenger’s door. I start clowning him about making me sit in the back. Ok so he was trying to open my door. It has been that long since a guy did those little things that I didn’t even recognize it. That’s a damned shame! The New Guy opens doors and my favorite, holds my coat while I put it on. You know it’s funny what those little things mean to you. We talk about home training all the time. I try to teach good manners to my god-brother who’s 13. He knows to hold the door for a lady and to say please and thank you. I hang out with “The Drunk” all the time but since he and I are just friends, those gentlemanly things aren’t expected (well holding the door open for me is). I’ve dated a few guys since the divorce but I will say that “New Guy” has been the most polite while still maintaining a sense of humor and all the other things I like. I’m not sure how “The Drunk” feels about me hanging out with his boy. He hasn’t said he minded but he’s also not going out of his way to hook us up. I don’t think it’s because he wants me I think it’s mostly because he’s a stingy friend and wants me to be free to roll out whenever he has free time.

Anyway, back to the weekend. Saturday morning my two girls from high school took me to breakfast. Yes I made a 930 breakfast date even after getting home at 4am. We’re trying to do better about hanging out. The great thing is that with true friends, we could not talk for 2 years and when we get together, it’s like we see each other every day. Oh and I heard the world’s best ghetto fabulous wedding story that I PROMISE to share tomorrow. It will have you in tears!

Then that night, my girl from college took me to see M.aze featuring Fran.kie Be.ve.rly! I absolutely LOVE Frankie! The ticket wasn’t originally a birthday gift but the guy she’s dating fell and had to have knee surgery so he couldn’t go. Now I’m not saying I get pleasure from the misfortunes of others but this was just perfect timing. She and I love to go to concerts together so we just had a wonderful time dancing and singing along. He did ALL of my favorites! But I do have to say this, that group has the best racket going. Frankie doesn’t even have to sing, the audience could do the whole concert by themselves. We sing every word, know every inflection, and will hum the music if we need to I had the Cheshire cat grin on my face the entire time! Danced so hard it was murder climbing the 3 flights of stairs to my apartment

My girl from the Army will be here for a conference this week so I’m heading out to the airport to pick her up soon. We’re going to hang out and then go to church later in the evening.

I just wanted to spread a little sunshine from my corner of the world. Be easy!

That’s how many days old I am today!

I love getting older, maybe because I am aging gracefully

Today is the big 31st b-day. Well technically it’s the 30th do-over because I left my husband a week before my 30th and let’s just say, wasn’t in the best mood that day. Approximately 20 people are joining me for drunken bowling (watch your toes!) so I have lots to be thankful for. In fact here are 31 of my favorite things to be thankful for;

1. Friends that are just as excited about my birthday as I am
2. Finding out that I’m approved for a rotation in Texas in July
3. New music on the Ipod
4. Handwritten illegible cards from my god-daughters
5. My mom who gives the 5 am birthday wakeup call
6. My brother who in his post-alcohol hour remembered to call his sis
7. New shoes
8. 10 pounds of weight loss (not the goal but close)
9. A timely Army check
10. snow on my birthday that didn’t stick to the ground
11. My health
12. Tivo (yes, I am quite thankful for it)
13. A fresh relaxer (which i was badly in need of)
14. E-cards (cheap gifts from the lazy but thoughtful)
15. Promises and goals
16. Instant messenger
17. Good memories
18. Divorce (yes I am finally thankful)
19. Freedom to do whatever the heck I choose
20. The ability to run out of things to be thankful for and still smile
21. Eye candy like Idr.is Elb.a
22. and LL Cool J
23. and Jav.on Wa.lker
24. 3 dollar red wine from Tra.der Jo.es that doesn’t taste like paint thinner
25. 4 inch heels and the legs to make em work
26. cute costume jewelry (gotta love the fake bling)
27. All 3 of my readers Much love!
28. Books on CD that I can “read” while driving
29. Cheap gas in Indiana
30. My last 6 months of med school
31. All the wonderful things that I forgot

Dang that was hard!

Go say Happy Birthday to Amneris it’s her Birthday too! And I’m certain that when she sings Happy Birthday.. she brings the house down!

Well this was quite the liquor soaked weekend.

Friday I hung out with one of my good friends from med school. He and I are pretty much like long-lost cousins. He’s a bit of a nut (especially when he’s drunk) but over the past 4 years he’s become one of my best friends. Most people think we’re secretly dating (which we’re not, but we’re so used to hearing that now that we just laugh). He was having a craving for Japanese food but of course when we made the 20 min trek to the restaurant during the lunch/dinner pause, we found out the restaurant wouldn’t be open for another couple of hours. We found a substitute place (absolutely fabulous Imperial Crab!). Ended up at an Irish pub for St Patty’s Day! I was in a beer drinking mood so I had a couple of few or was that a few couples

Saturday I restarted my volunteer work. I went back to a water aerobics class for overweight teens that I want to work with on a regular basis. Teens energize me. I get to exercise and motivate the kids all at the same time. Left there, went to an actual Japanese restaurant for quite possibly the best tempura ever! I think that’s one of the things I’ll miss most about being in Chicago is the diversity of food and neighborhoods. Left there and had to change for a banquet that night. I wanted to support our Latino medical student organization (plus they had open bar!) Left there after a couple drinks. The shameful thing is that my boy- who I trust implicitly- was bringing me drinks and I haven’t the foggiest idea what I was drinking but dizzam were they tasty. Left there and went back to the Irish bar (had one or two or so). Left there and went to a med school party. Left there and went to an all night dinner for the best Denver omlette ever. Finally made it home at 5:30am.

Sunday I slept! I had planned to go to church but that didn’t quite happen. I did watch one of the tv broadcasts. I barely ate Sunday, all I could do was sleep!

So I’m detoxing now and hydrating to get ready for my big birthday on Friday!

Such is life!

Well I have the biggest grin on my face today and it is only 7am! Why, you ask? No reason at all! I guess I just woke up on the right side of the bed this morning.

I finished yet another rotation this week! My 1 month senior internal medicine rotation is ovah! Hated it! I still have my surgery make-up exam looming over my head in June but for the most part I’m finished with the worst of med school.

Next week I begin a 1 week Clinical Teaching elective. It’s a nice way to ensure I won’t be on call on my birthday Then after that, I have the joy of studying for boards for 3 weeks. Time to get that over with. The second part of the boards aren’t nearly as bad as the first so I’m just trying to relax and get ready to hit it hard!

I guess I should get dressed now, I’m conducting interviews for potential medical students today and then I MUST sit down and work on my research project. I have enough on my plate right now to need Jen.ny Cr.aig!

How could I have possibly forgotten to tell this story?

Y’all I had drama from over 3,000 miles away!

So some of you may remember I was diggin this guy who I was friends with when I was in the Army. He is, by the way, married (a fact that I knew, I know he’s truly unhappy, and I was willing to ignore for a minute- but only a minute).

Ok but that’s not the point of the story.

I came in at 645am from hanging out all night with one of my friends. My phone rings. It’s Germany. I was running late for work so I figured I’d call him back on the way to work. We’re still friends, talk all the time. The phone rings again. Missed call. Germany. Yet again. Missed call. Germany. I figure something serious must be going on! So I call back.

A woman answers the phone. (more…)

I’m so up and down right now.

I have 2 or 3 fabulous, life-affirming, joyful hours and then I sink into a funk again.

I can’t believe I’ll be yet another year older in 10 days! I’m usually such a birthday girl but this year I’m just not feeling my birthday. I set up a party for myself and 20 people have already said they’d roll through but that isn’t enough for me.

I don’t feel complete. Not in a “I need a man to complete me” kind of way. I feel like I’m peeking into my life right now and I’m not loving what I see. Things always have a way of working themselves out but right now I just feel like I can’t seem to get a grip on anything.

I guess I need to get off this computer and get up get out and get moving! I’m still feeling vulnerable which is an extremely scary feeling for me. I’m broke until May when the loan money kicks in. I’ve been grasping at straws trying to find a new mate.

Methinks it’s time to have a long conversation with myself. It’s time to hit the refresh button on my life and make some changes!

So I’m not sure if I mentioned this little tidbit of info but I am back in the Army now. Well technically I’m in the Army Reserves but it was a challenge to put on the Green Suit again. I’ve been out of the military for exactly four years now and something compelled me to go back in this time. USARMY spelled backward is the title of this post.

Everyone asks, why now? Easy answer, I AM BROKE! And I don’t mean broke as in I can’t take a vacation, I mean broke like gas is becoming a struggle (and I drive a small car!). Being in the military was an easy job for me, just do what you’re told.

Now this was the first drill weekend for me (although I signed up in Sept). I’m in a training support unit which lessens my chances of going out to the sandbox but anything is possible. I can’t even begin to describe the trouble I have had getting ready for drill. You all know the saying, “God looks out for babies and fools”. Well, lets just say, I’m no baby.

I waited until the last possible minute to get my uniforms ready for drill. Four years and sitting down studying alot has left a little extra soldier to fit into the uniform. Did I get my uniforms ready 2 wks ahead of time? Of course not! I waited until the week of drill to call my girl who is on Active Duty to ask her to pick up the things I needed. She rushed them to me overnight (luv ya girl!) but of course I wasn’t home to get the package. The post office was still open but of course they don’t actually keep the package at the actual post office. The lady tells me that the package is at the other facility across the street (which you know was closed) but tells me that maybe if I go over there someone will give me the package through the back door. I see a mail carrier taking mail from the box in front of the facility and something tells me to ask him. He tells me that HE is the mail carrier who tried to deliver my package and that he’ll go in and get it for me. Lord knows I needed the package since it contained my blouse for drill in the morning! That was nothing but God.

Funny how when something good happens we are quick to say “that’s nothing but God”. But this time, his presence was so strong I could feel it. That’s a whole other post

This story doesn’t have a perfect ending though. My uniform was tight as all get out! Jacket so tight you would think I was trying to take my blood pressure! Blouse had me looking like I was trying to shrink wrap myself. But the pants fit at least I refuse to pay for a new uniform so I have to get back on track with my eating habits (free morning pastries at the hospital have been too much for me). Part of the reason I went back into the Reserves was that it would force me to get control of my weight before it gets too further out of control.

I survived my first drill weekend. The people are really nice for the most part and all we did this weekend was sit in classes. Not bad for the money I make (I’m a Captain so the pay is well worth it). I found out this weekend that I’m being moved to a different unit effective next month, but I’m going with most of the people I met that I like. Flexibility, discipline and focus. All the things I hope to gain from the military time.

Wow, this was long. Sorry I’ve been MIA for so long. I have a million stories for you, some good.. some not quite so good but I’ll catch up this week!