Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

So we had a bit of a scare today… my 11 year old nephew decided to just leave home.

He’s really sensitive. I think it has alot to do with the fact that his dad is 62 and his mom is 41. They alternate between babying him and turning him into an old man.

But anyway, the story went like this..
He was supposed to read a book this summer at my brother-in-law’s request. He didn’t do it. He got in trouble and was told that he couldn’t watch tv for 3 days. My sister tried to help him out and run interference with my brother-in-law but what does she catch my nephew doing??? Yep, watching tv when he was supposed to be reading. She told him that she “wouldn’t be nice to him anymore”. The baby took that literally. He has very low self-esteem (something that I’m trying to work on with him) so he thought it would be best if he just left. He took a down coat (no money though) and proceeded to walk 80 blocks toward downtown. He got lost and flagged a police officer to ask for directions to his great-grandmother’s house since it would be the closest. The officer ran his name and told him that he would have to come to the station because he ran away from home. By this time, he had been gone EIGHT hours.

Meanwhile, my sisters and I are combing the neighborhood trying to come up with where he could have gone. We checked fast food joints, movie theaters, parks, everything. Needless to say, we were a bit upset.

So I just went to his house to hug and kiss him and to tell him that he had better not EVER do anything like that again. This is the second time he has just left home. I tried to explain to him that he has 3 aunts that love him and he can call any one of us at any time and we will drop what we are doing to see about him. I also had to remind him that love comes from within as well and even if it were true that his mother would not be nice to him ever again, he will always have the love that comes from inside. I told him again about people who HURT children. Shoot, in a minute I’m gonna find a “sca.red strai.ght” program for him.

But in the end, all that matters is that he’s safe at home. My sister is taking him to the pediatrician tomorrow who will hopefully recommend the therapy that we’ve been asking her to get. She is afraid that the therapist will say that there is something wrong with HER. Good Grief.

And on top of all that, I have a raging ear infection in both ears. I also have a hole in one eardrum which they hope will close on its own or I will have to have surgery. I spent all of Saturday afternoon in Coach’s bed being a big sore-earred baby. I can be a big ole whiner when I’m sick and I appreciated him taking good care of me.

but thank you Lawd my exam is OVER!!! It wasn’t quite so bad. It was long as heck and there were a bunch of questions I wasn’t sure about but hopefully in 2 weeks I will have good news to report. My boy J was in town yesterday so he and I studied at one of the bookstores until late. You have to love positive peer pressure!

Now this is the same guy who introduced me to Coach. Me being me, I picked a study spot down the street from Coach’s second job (so I could pick him up after work). We get to the job and my boy won’t get out of the front seat. Mr Coach was actually a little peeved by that but he was good natured and sat in the back. It’s hard trying not to be cute when you have company but we managed to behave ourselves. I dropped J off and took Coach home. I was tired and so was he so I didn’t even venture towards his door.

I can’t believe J was actually subtlely (or maybe not so subtlely) cock-blocking! I figured this would happen because J is a selfish friend, he wants me to be available to roll out whenever. He and I will probably not talk about it. He acted like his usual self when we went to lunch after my exam but he always changes the subject when I bring up Coach (which I do entirely too much, I really must get a cure for this).

Anywhoo… just my afternoon ramblings. I need a nap! I am working on 4 hours of sleep and I have to go to the Little League game tonight because we’re playing the one team that molly-wopped us already this season. Dangit did I just say we like I’m a coach! Yeah, must sleep now.

If you give me 10 years to accomplish something, I will think about it for 9 years 11 months and 3 weeks. But that last week, I am working my butt off.

I am a procrastinator! I’ve been this way all of my life. I love to plan and that’s usually as far as I get until the last minute when I realize I don’t even have time to properly execute the plan.

I have a surgery makeup exam on Friday. Am I ready for it? How about NO. I’m just a little over halfway finished with the book I’m using to study for the exam. Lawd, I will never get to sleep! I only failed the original test by 2 points so I didn’t have that much ground to make up but my bed has been calling me.

Okay I guess I’ll get back to reading about the endocrine system. I’m actually on track on my “short term hard core study plan”. I may even get a chance to watch a few minutes of the game tonight.

Saturday was my great-aunt’s 90th birthday party. My mother was hesitant to have a party at first but I insisted that we never know when we’ll get another chance to do something like this.

My aunt is more like my grandmother than my aunt. In fact, both of my grandmothers are jealous of her. But she was the one who treated us like grandkids. She knew all of our favorite snacks, we had a room at her house, our bikes were stored there. Matter of fact, when I introduce her to people or talk about her I often just call her my grandmother.

She has always been the biggest ball of energy! When we were little, we’d come home from hanging out with her and need a NAP while she’d still be going strong. Age has slowed her down but she still has a great attitude and a wonderful sense of humor. It’s sometimes painful to see her memory gone (she has Alzheimers) but it is a real blessing to have her in my life.

I ended up doing the bulk of the work for the party. Decorations, cake, caterer, invitations were all my responsibility. My mom just had to receive the rsvps. My mom is a bossy little broad but she let me handle things. We get to the party location 3 hours early (her timeline) and she was getting on my LAST good nerve. I wanted her to meet Coach but he had another engagement in the afternoon and the timeline my mother was working on was just plain DUMB. She hadn’t clarified it until the day of or I would have informed her that the timeline was DUMB. But anyway… I was getting frustrated with her so I went outside to call Coach to tell him that he didn’t need to come to the party afterall. He could hear the frustration in my voice so he stopped what he was doing to reassure me and calm me down. He just doesn’t know how much I appreciated that.

The birthday lady had a fabulous time at her party! Of course she kept asking how old she was (short term memory is totally gone). About 50 people came and we had a TON of food. My mom was getting ready to say the grace and my aunt shouted out that she wanted to pray. That was the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time. It was such a touching moment to hear her thank God for all that she has and for all of the people in her life. Just that moment was worth all the hassle of the day.

I believe in giving people their flowers while they can appreciate them. So if there is someone you love who you have not been in touch with lately, take a second to say hello and let them know that they mean the world to you.

Not that I can be bullied (Ms Diva) but I’m actually tired of talking about Coach. I do have a couple of things to share but I will save them for a later post. I forgot to fill you all in on my baby’s 8th grade graduation.

Oooh Lawd, where do I begin? Well how about the beginning. My mom lives across the street from the Ghetto Institute of Lower Learning (lets just call it GILL) that my godbrother (my baby) graduated from. My brother and I both attended GILL for pre-K only! It was ghetto 25 years ago and it is ghetto now. But we loved living across the street because we were usually guaranteed to see at least one good ghetto fight or at the very least a ghetto fashion show. And we certainly weren’t disappointed on graduation day. We have seen everything from limos to prom dresses for the 8th grade graduation. Sadly enough, this will be the only graduation for many of these kids (not my baby, he knows that college is an EXPECTATION not an option). This year there were no prom dresses or limos but Lawd if the ‘fits were not HIGH-LARIOUS! Everything from full combat outfits with orange and red koolaid colored hair to zoot suits to the purple and red gators! Tell me that we are not country-licious in the Chi!

Oh but my darlings it gets worse! So they didn’t let anyone into the auditorium until 2 minutes before the ceremony so that the folks wouldn’t be fighting over the seat. But you know that didn’t give the special folk enough time to hoop and holler and clown before the festivities. My baby was the salutatorian and he was TRYING to give the welcome but you couldn’t hear him over the nigras hollering “that’s my baby” and “you go Tarantulaniqualiqua”. Not to mention I was getting a headache from the contact high and yes I said contact high from the WOMEN in front of me! I had my cell phone out text messaging Coach the whole time cause I just couldn’t believe it!

So as they tried to get the people to settle down so you could hear the ceremony, the principal gets on the mic. She has been the principal of GILL for at least 30 yrs and she has been an ignorant broad for as long as I can remember. She steps to the mic and says “There is all this extra noise because we have 19 extra children on stage today. I didn’t have to let these children participate in the ceremony since they have to go to summer school but I thought I would and that’s why we have all of this poor behavior in the audience”. Now how would she know which of the families were cutting up! And nobody needed to know that there were children on stage who weren’t graduating. That was just unnecessary. What was just as sad was the fact that there were 50 children on stage and 19 (yes, 40%) of them weren’t qualified graduates.

Then the guest speaker got up and berated the parents for their behavior and told them all about their behinds. He subsequently gave a wonderful speech but you know he had lost many of the ghetto but not fabulous in the first 10 minutes when he told them that it was no wonder their kids weren’t doing well, they have irresponsible parents. Interesting thing is that some of the children’s parents are my age so they never really grew up. Lots of babies trying to raise babies in the hood.

My mother was outdone by the whole event. She just couldn’t wait for the festivities to be over. But my baby was cute even if he did have on some ghetto silver shoes. Now we get ready for high school. He’s going to a magnet program that isn’t too far from his house. Because yes, although he moved out of the neighborhood 2 or 3 yrs ago, his mom let him stay in the old school even though it was on probation. Lawd that’s a whole nother topic! I have mixed feelings about “special schools” even though I attended magnet or gifted programs from 1st grade through high school. On one hand it is great to have high achieving students able to be challenged by their teachers and peers but on the other, it sucks the talent out of the neighborhood schools and often leaves those schools without incentive to excel. I believe in public education. I went to school for free even though I could have easily gotten scholarships to private schools because we’s po!

My favorite way to wake up is with the sun on my face. There is something so calming and serene about that feeling.

Today is Coach’s birthday. I tried to wait and give him his present at midnight but I could only hold out until 10:30 or so. I got him a hat with the name of the Little League team he coaches on the front and his name on the back. I made him a pound cake (he has a horrible sweet tooth) and stashed some of his other favorite candies in the bag. He got a kick out of the three cards I got him. And yes, I am the type of person who will buy 3 or 4 birthday cards for someone just because I think the card is cute.

His best friend’s birthday was last month and the girlfriend got him a cute but expensive jacket as a gift. Trying to buy her way into his good graces since they fight like cats and dogs. Mr Coach’s comment was that my gift meant so much more to him because it was actually from my heart not just my wallet. I love giving gifts that say “Hey, I’m listening” even if I claim to not hear a word he says ever. That clown modeled the hat for about 10 minutes. He even went and put on one of his jerseys that matches it! So vain!

I went to the Little League game last night (even though it was drizzling the first 10 minutes of the game). Coach keeps asking me if the team parents know who I am. Hell, I don’t even know who I “am” to him so you know I’m not trying to describe it to anybody else. He’s just tickled that I am supportive of what he’s doing. Can’t help it, that’s the type of person I am. I really wish he didn’t know I was entertaining thoughts of moving out of Chicago because every other day he wants to talk about me moving and which cities I’m considering. I don’t think he believes that I am strongly considering staying right here (and not entirely because of him)

I need to stop blogging about the man. I actually have several other topics to tell you guys about. My great-aunt will be 90 tomorrow. I have some musical topics to talk about. Shucks, I better start some drafts before I lose all of my best material.

This man has me all warm and fuzzy like I woke up with the sun in my face. Damn him!

I get such a kick out of talking to the ex-husband. I hadn’t spoken with him in a month or so and I decided to make sure I didn’t have any mail at his house (he’ll hold on to the mail forever if I don’t call him). We had such a lovely conversation. We talked about his family for a while. His family isn’t close (which caused problems for us) but he did learn a little something about family from being around mine. His cousin graduated from high school recently which made me feel old because I remember her as a little 5 year old when I met the ex. He offered to drop off my mail after work and acted surprised when I told him to phone first because I’m not always at home at that time of night.

I miss his friendship sometimes.

I really don’t miss him the husband.

Thank you God! It took a long time to get there.

I talked to the clown in Germany (yeah I know, I probably shouldn’t be talking to him). He’s still diggin me, which usually would make me feel good but on him it’s kinda pitiful. We chatted on IM for an hour or so. He had the nerve to ask to see me on my webcam (hello, priviledges revoked). He keeps asking about my new man. Why is it that just because I am not feeling you, it has to be about somebody else. No my brother you brought that on yourself. The fact that I have a new man in my life (which I don’t have any problem admitting) just makes my life better but really, it is not the cause of me cutting him loose.

Can we just say that I am QUITE thankful for my freedom (from crazy ex-husbands and crazy potential ex-boyfriends)! It is amazing how much better life is when you stop trying to be in control. My soror and I were having a discussion about not trying to make God do what we want him to do. She was almost ordered to Ku.wa.it and she had gotten all upset until she took it to Him. Orders were deleted. I didn’t know how I was going to afford these away rotations in Florida and Texas but I asked Him to handle it for me. I got a $1000 scholarship from one of my rotation sites to pay for housing and transportation. I stopped begging God for a mate and whining about being lonely and what happens, He drops off a man at my doorstep. Everything happens in due time!

So I can finally say the drought is over! It was certainly worth the wait and that’s all I will say on that matter. Grown-up fun with someone you are really diggin is Fantabulous

But anywhoo, I guess I’m enjoying my “titleless non-relationship” with Coach. We spent all day Sunday just relaxing and chit chatting. It was pretty cool. I have learned not to push the “relationship” talk because I watch his actions more than listen to all of his “fears”.

We were both in a mushy sort of mood so there were lots of compliments and affectionate words flowing. That’s rare for me because I tend to keep my feelings bottled up because I don’t like being vulnerable. I find myself opening up a space for him in my life and although I want to run from it, something in his spirit just keeps calling me. I really enjoy being around him, even when we’re just breathing in the same air and watching one another sleep (we tend to nap at different times). I’m looking forward to this week because it is his b-day week (also known as “Coach Appreciation Week”) so I get the opportunity to spoil him rotten. His birthday gift is purchased and personalized, the ingredients for his cake are in the kitchen, his cards are already signed. I love taking a moment (with a sanctioned holiday) to tell someone I appreciate them. I had the hardest time finding a non-funny card because all of the cards skip right from “homey” to “husband”. Where are the cards for “I’m getting to know you and I think you’re special”? They used to sell those a few years back. Now everything is “my love” or “my husband”. We aren’t there yet. So I got a “less than hilarious” card and wrote a little note in it. Of course I’m nervous about him reading it (even though it isn’t that mushy). I sent him an evite for his birthday dinner (even though it’s just the two of us) and the nut job rsvp’d maybe to make me laugh. I kinda figured he would do that I love a man with a sick and twisted sense of humor.

Ok enough of my sappy mushiness. I guess I shall get ready for another day of studying tomorrow. My baby (my god-brother) graduates from 8th grade tomorrow and he’s the salutatorian so I have to be front and center. Toodles!

Urology was interesting. I have seen the commercials but never would I have suspected that there were so many 80 yr old men on Vi.agr.a!!! I wanted to high-five each and every one of them! The two weeks went by pretty quickly and as of now I’m on another 2 week vacation to study for my surgery make-up exam and then on to the next rotation. I can’t believe I have about 20 weeks of school left. It’s kind of surreal.

But onto my topic for today. I’m sure you think this is about Coach but alas, it isn’t. He and I are really cool. I went out to support his Little League team the other day (he’s coaching to help out his friend- ah, mentorship is soooo sexy). But I digress. Last week I was with the doc when he had to tell a 22 year old that he has testicular cancer. The young man waited a month with terrible pain in his testicle before he came to the doctor. Now of all the cancers to have, this one is the most curable. But the problem is that the cure is to remove the testicle which can be quite traumatic for a guy (or so I have heard). This guy found out on Friday and had it removed on Monday. Talk about a whirlwind of a weekend. Surgery went fine, he’s at home for a week recuperating. So ladies, if you care about the man in your life, encourage him to do testicular exams monthly. For more fun, do it for him If you feel a lump or bump, tell him to get to the doctor! Most guys only go to the doctor when their significant other makes them so make him!

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