Wow, it is my blogaversary!!! I really didn’t think I would be able to sustain this for an entire year. I have tried to write in a physical journal so many times but this has truly been an outlet for me. Life has taken me in so many directions over the past year. I wouldn’t trade any of it as it has strengthened me in ways I have yet to realize. And I am truly a junkie, as I am sending this from my Treo.
Today’s post is inspired by alot of things. First, Diva (in Demand’s post . Then, my observations of a few married couples I know. And then of course, my Coach. And let’s not forget the wonderful family movie “Menace to Society” which contained the above song by Hi-Five (anybody know what happened to them?)
Diva’s topic today was about catering to your man. My first reaction was “Cater to Who???” But as I have grown over the past year, I have come to realize that catering is not subservience. Catering is a reaction from your heart. When you love someone, you want their load to be lighter. When they have a bad day, you want to hold them. When they come home, you want to be sure they have a good meal. It’s more than “that’s my role”, it’s about seeing the need and finding a way to meet it.
The trick of course is finding someone who loves you as much as you love them. When YOU have a bad day, they have their arms open. When YOU have a long day, they know how to either cook or pick up the phone and get a pizza. When the baby is crying, they don’t watch you juggling a thousand tasks and say “Girl you better do something about that”.
Love doesn’t take score. Love supports and nurtures. Love knows when to put the need of the other in front of selfish desires.
I have a friend who has been married for almost 10 years. Her husband just sprung the idea of buying a new house on her and expects her to move in three weeks. They both work and have little ones starting school in a week. Talk about stress. Now if you are going to do something like that, you should know that you may have to give her some extra attention. Help in the house more. Give her a day off from the kids. I have another friend who works so well with his wife that they have survived some true relationship-testing situations (family members moving in, financial stresses).
It’s all about the team.
Coach and I are proving to be a pretty good team. He’s gotten very good at anticipating my needs and he tells me quite often that he feels supported by me. We’ve had a disagreement or two but we’ve been able to rationally discuss it and come to some mutual conclusions about how to handle things differently. I truly feel that there is a WE not a ME and YOU. There is definitely a difference. I don’t think this is all “new relationship” bliss. There is a certain level of trust there. I have come to trust that he has OUR best interests at heart and I think he feels the same about me. Now believe me, this relationship is certainly not perfect but it nurtures my heart, arouses my intellect (as well as my loins— ok too much “Coming to America” lately). I’m slowing shaving down the calluses on my heart… hmmmm.
