Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

I was watching the tv show Becker this afternoon after my 30 hour shift and I was moved to write this. On this episode (which I have seen a thousand times… I love this show) Becker was attempting to quit smoking and having the worst time. The question was asked of him “As a doctor, shouldn’t you know better than to smoke”. It’s funny what we KNOW we should do and what we ACTUALLY will ourselves to do. In every class there is a test. Life lessons are no different. In the confines of our mind we tell ourselves.. “smoking is bad. Overeating will kill me.” But when we have that bad day or the kids and the spouse and the boss have jumped rope with our last good nerve, we reach for our common comfort.

My mother and my aunt both smoke. My mom is 60 and my aunt is 55. I want them to live forever so I have been on them about quitting smoking. They both have that awful smoker’s cough which scares me to death mostly because I’m in medicine and I imagine the worst possible things. But really, is it any different than my addiction to all of the wrong foods? I know better. I know how it increases not only my weight but my chances of stroke, heart attack, diabetes, the list goes on and on. What’s stopping me? Me! What’s stopping my mom and aunt from quitting smoking? Them!

The movement from thought to action requires usually just one step. My mom went to the smoking cessation classes at work. She knows what to do. But the reality is, until she picks a quit date and makes that one step, she will be a smoker. Coach and I are going to work on our health habits starting when I get home from Jacksonville. We’re doing the Mas.ter Clea.nser together because we both know that we need support. I’m too young to be this out of shape. My eating habits were just as bad (if not worse) when I was in the military. Just because I exercised daily does not absolve me from the obligation to watch what I put in my mouth.

In the end of the show Becker wasn’t able to quit. He just wasn’t ready. I am ready to make some changes in my lifestyle. I’m tired of knowing what to do but not having the will and motivation to make it so. Wish me luck!

This post is a collection of BS that I have either seen lately or experienced lately that has me saying… “Now ain’t that some BS”

1. Those DAMNED Old Navy commercials: I can not STAND their new ad campaign! I say again.. can’t stand it. I hate anything that invites me to get something on, first of all, but please tell me what my “fash” is and how will I get it on. Pure ignorance. I can’t stand the Lays commercials that tell me to get my smile on either. Quite frankly the only thing I want to get on is my freak and I don’t walk around singing about it either. I don’t mind the mainstream picking up on some of our common phrases but why do you have to be ignant (yeah I meant to spell it that way) to sell something.

2. Why is it that more than one “pale face” has met me and proceeded to inform me that they eat greens. Like the hell I care! I don’t eat them so guess what… greens don’t enbody the “black experience”. That’s up there with telling me you had a black suitemate in college… what are you going do next.. ask me if I know a Tyrone Jones from Chicago?

3. Why did I have to get “forceful” with the manager of this here Bates motel? Housekeeping is supposed to come once per week (this is an extended stay joint) but they never told me what day to expect them. Monday.. no housekeeping. Tuesday… trash still there. Wednesday I go to the office and ask when housekeeping is supposed to come. The desk clerk (who is not so bright) says he will leave a note for the manager because they were supposed to clean my room on Monday. Thursday I come in from work and yep… no housekeeping. The manager left a note saying that they did clean the room and that they are not going to just go around recleaning rooms. Oh now you know I found that heffa and let her know! This is the conversation:

Me: Housekeeping did NOT clean my room on Monday.
Fat Lazy Manager Bitch (FB): I checked their log and it said that they did.
Me: Well guess what.. they did NOT clean my room.
FB: Did they change your towels?
Me: NO
FB: Have they made the bed?
Me: NO
FB: Did they take out the trash?
Me: I know clean when I see it! The trash has not been out. The bed was not made. I have been using my own towels from home. Now if they cleaned my room.. Please tell me WHAT DID THEY ACTUALLY DO! How about you step into my room and see the conditions.
FB: OK. You know you can get fresh towels and sheets from the office.
Me (in my head): I could also go behind the counter at Mickey D’s and cook a burger but I don’t work there either!
FB: I’m sorry. I’ll make sure they clean your room in the am.

is done!!! I am proud to announce that I have passed my boards! I will not have to suffer through the horror that is the USMLE Step 2 ever again! That was the last major hurdle before graduating so I am really honestly and truly gonna be a MD in December (technicallly Dec but I’m assisting in a class that ends in Jan so really I don’t finish until May). Wow! After all that I have been through in my journey to be a doctor, having this weight off of me is incredible!

I have 2 of 13 interview offers already so I am really getting excited about the finish line. The process of residency planning is daunting. First a long drawn out application with 3 letters of recommendation, a personal statement, a photo, transcripts, etc. Followed by waiting for interview invitations. Then I get to make a list (in order) of the places that I would like to train. The programs make a list of the people they want. The 2 lists are fed into a computer and out pops a job. I won’t find out where that job will be until March 15th at noon.

so many things going on at one time. I am sooo happy right now I could pop!

Like Sunday Morning! (In the immortal words of Lionel Richie). This has been such a beautiful weekend.

I’m in Jacksonville Florida working at the Mayo Clinic. I don’t care for the clinic or the people. I’m not one for pretentious people or places which I suppose I’m glad I found out before I actually seriously considered coming here. Part of the reason I chose to come here was to get to know my aunt and cousins who live here a little better. But of course I get here and all of the phone numbers we have for them are disconnected. We’re gonna drop them a note in the mail and hopefully they’ll get it before I leave. My aunt has 5 adult children who have children of their own now and the only time I get to see them is at funerals and the occasional Christmas dinner (of course they rarely can afford to travel to Chicago from Florida). So far Jacksonville seems like an okay town.

So getting on the road again was a bit difficult. Nearing the end of med school, I’m broke! My car is shaking like a salt shaker. I was willing to ignore that little problem except occasionally when I put the key in the ignition, it doesn’t wish to turn. So at 8am on a Saturday, I’m sitting at the dealership. They fix the ignition and tell me that I’m driving a deathtrap with a tire that could blow at any time. Whoa! I just spent $300 I don’t have and now I have to spend another $100. I immediately pick up the phone and call Coach who calmly said to me… “Do what you have to do. We will work out the finances later”. I so appreciate his ability to calm my hysteria. I go back into the dealership and tell them to fix whatever it needs. Of course after waiting an hour, they tell me that they don’t have my tire after all. WalMart didn’t have it either.

So I leave, pick up Coach and we head out to see the DaVinci exhibit at the Science and Industry museum. My girl’s husband had free tickets through his job. Let’s just say, good thing it was free. BORING!!! Definitely not worth the $21 we didn’t spend on it. My girl is gushing because she’s pregnant. I’m happy for her. Slightly jealous but happy for her. I hope she has a boy because she is really not the girly type.

Sunday Coach and I went to church together for the first time. 730am service. You know we must have needed some church to get up that early. My mom was pleased to see us at church. It was a good service and I’m extremely happy that the man in my life is a Christian man and I don’t have to drag him kicking and screaming to church. We went to get a tire for my car which of course turned into 3 new tires, a wheel alignment, and another $300. Praise the Lord my aunt gave me my money back for part of my repairs! Frankie is rolling like a brand new Focus My aunt and uncle were cooking for Labor Day so we stopped by the house for a bit of free grub. He got a chance to meet the fam. I think he made a good impression but in my family we don’t bother to remember your name until at least 2 introductions. They were pretty impressed by his good manners. I think he was just kissing up

Before we made it to my aunt’s we had a little project to complete.. my car looked like a tornado hit. He helped me clean the inside and out (to include the trunk). Good news, no dead bodies were found in the car! We took Frankie out for a bath.. he came out feeling bout 15 lbs lighter

So with all of that done, I hit the road on Labor Day and made it to Jacksonville in 16.5 hours. I’m staying at an extended stay motel.. raggedy!!! But hell at $40/night on Priceline, you can’t expect the Ritz. Lots of men here (looks like a few recently separated folks) but I have finally seen some women so I feel better. Now of course that hasn’t stopped me from double locking the door. I feel safer, but I ain’t stupid.

I took myself to breakfast at Denny’s this morning and caught a movie and took in a late lunch at Copeland’s (one of my favorite restaurants ever!!). I’m chilling in bed on my computer watching the Cowboys-Jaguars game… life doesn’t get any better than this!