Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

From the very bottom of my heart, I thank you all for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.  The connection of hearts has been comforting.  Please know that your warmth and generousity reached me from no matter how far in land distance you may be.

This has been a very difficult week.  I have cried more than I would ever admit.  But I have smiled and laughed too.  The joy that Jaylen brought to my heart will never go away.  The love that we have as a family has sustained me.  My friends (both those I can pick out of a line-up and my screen friends) have shown me more love than I could have imagined.

Diva and I went to see Alvin Ailey this evening.  The night out lifted my spirits (thanks again hun!).  There is something so powerful about seeing my people doing their thing!  I go every year and this was one of my favorite performances.

I am hanging in there.  The service for my Jaylen is tomorrow.  Continue to pray with me, as I continue to pray for you.

If you have ever uttered a prayer before… PRAY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY

My brother rushed my 1 month old nephew to the hospital on Saturday morning because he was crying inconsolably and his belly was expanding.  They did tests and found that he had a bowel malrotation and off he went to emergency surgery.  They got him stable and were observing him for 24-48 hours to see when they could complete his bowel surgery (to remove any remaining dead bowel that choked off from inadequate blood supply). 

We thought he was doing ok until the 830 am phone call I got telling me to come to the hospital because he wasn’t going to make it.

My angel went home at 157pm.  His big sister Maya came to get him. 

I ache in a place so deep inside me you need heavy machinery to dig to it.

I ache for my brother who has lost 2 children since Dec 2006 (his only children)

I ache for a family that has to make arrangements for services for a one month old.

I ache for my mother who has lost her only two grandchildren.

I just ache.

Yesterday my family prayed together, we cried together, we laughed together and lord knows we had to drink together.  Jaylen was a precious gift from God and God saw fit to call him home.  It isn’t for me to ask why, just to ask that he mends the hole in my heart.

Hug a child today.  No matter how young and healthy they seem, God calls little angels too.