Postcards from the Tip of Insanity

I’m back to my blog.  Dusty in here isn’t it!  I’ve been reading and lurking on my favorite blogs but I haven’t sat down to write in 6 whole months.  I have truly missed clearing my head in here.  So now, where have I been in the past 6 months???

Personally:

Let’s start with the biggest news of all… I’m having a baby in September! Surprise Surprise.  Pregnancy has been an interesting journey to say the least.  Initially I planned to document it all via blog and scrapbook but hell, life got in the way.  The Ambassador and I are really excited about the baby.  He’s been a total tyrant about what I eat and how much moving around I do after work.  I’m on my feet all day at work and pretty much on my butt at home.  We totally thought this baby was a girl but he decided to show us BOY parts on the ultrasound.  Either way, all I want is a healthy baby so mommy of boy it is!

The Ambassador and I are planning to get married but we just can’t nail down the logistics.  One week we want to do a destination wedding, one week it’s the justice of the peace.  We’re scheduled to have private pre-marital class through the marriage ministry at his church because no matter when we do it, we want to have a good foundation spiritually as we do personally.  We’re still that sickening sweet couple that people gag at, LOL but it works for us!  Don’t get me wrong, we fight just like any other couple.  He can be melodramatic and I can be a bit direct.  We know these things about us and we fight and make up. 

Professionally:

One year of residency down, two to go!!  I’m actually considering a fellowship in Adolescent Medicine which will require a move away from Chicago for 2-3 years.  I’m not really sure how I feel about moving again but the Ambassador is backing whatever decision I make.  He’s the best!  He’s been doing research on programs so that he can know what his preferences are as well.  I know my mom and his mom will not be happy about us going anywhere with their grandson.

So now I’m a senior on the Family Medicine Service.  It’s so weird being in charge when just a month ago, I was the low man on the totem pole.  I’m enjoying it so far as being forced to explain things to my intern just helps me focus my knowledge.  So far I think I’ve been a pretty good senior, I don’t overwork people and I try to be supportive because I remember what it was like starting out.  I just completed my first "scary" block as a senior which is our night float service.  It’s scary because the senior is in charge of all new admissions and all of the patients on the service.  Some nights I had an intern to help, other nights just me by myself.  Only 2 more of those blocks to go.

 That’s it so far I guess.  I have a few other stories that I’m trying to talk myself into telling.  Maybe later in the week.  I’m trying to figure out a way to tell one story without putting too much of the other person’s business in the street (for now).

I used to love the Brandy song with the above title! Even if the artist herself is no longer on top of the world. Matter of fact she’s kinda hoping not to be sitting up under the jail

But anywhoooooo!

Match Day was yesterday!!!!!!!!

I am staying in Chicago going to Christ Hospital in the south burbs!!!!!! My family came to the celebration and we had a lovely time. Mimosas and family… what a lovely combination

After the Match Day party Coach and I had tickets to the Jud.ge Mat.his taping!!!! COMEDY! There are some sick sick sick people in the world. We saw 6 cases. Two hilarious ones and 4 just kinda funny ones. My first time in a tv studio, so small. 60 people crammed into a space the size of my living room. The baliff looks like a jumbo Ken doll in person!

After that, we had to speed off to an awards ceremony where I got a student leadership award. No big deal to me but apparently a big deal to everyone else. Great paperweight award though so I can’t complain.

All in all… A VERY GOOD DAY!

All topped by today! The military may not be calling me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I just say how excited I am about THAT! I was gonna suck it up and do my time but I wasn’t gonna like it! But now they’re saying that headquarters hasn’t even approved it and that there’s no way it will happen by the first of May. AWWWWW And I meant that with all the sarcasm I can muster!

So I should update you guys….

I MATCHED!!!! WHOOO HOOOOOOOOO! Go Rashida get busy..

Don’t know where yet though… 3 days till the date that I find out where.

We got notified today via email with a yes you matched or no you didn’t.

If you didn’t you have 2 days to make the mad dash of finding a place and some people never get one.

But I don’t have to worry about that. I gots a job. Even if Uncle Sam might keep me from it. And y’all why has my unit called twice today talking about the damned mobilization on May 1st. Yeah I know. Thanks for the reminder. and thanks for picking a great day to remind me.

I haven’t updated you guys on the countdowns:

1. There are 5 days until I find out if I matched into a residency position for next year.

2. There are 8 days until I find out where I matched.

3. There are now 17 days until my 32nd birthday!

I’ll keep you posted!

Hey all,
I know I forgot to mention to you guys that my brother’s girlfriend was pregnant. Funny thing is her due date is my birthday which is March 24th. Well as you can tell by the title, things didn’t go according to plan.

Tuesday my brother calls me and he sounded kinda wierd. He says that he’s at the hospital and they are going to do a c-section. I’m concerned because she’s only 6 months pregnant. They do the c-section and out comes….

MISS MYA H. My first niece (well the first one for my brother who is my full brother.. I have half-sisters)

She’s a fighter. My brother said her arms and legs were going like crazy and she doesn’t like getting her butt wiped (sounds like her ole nasty daddy)

Wednesday she was doing okay… had some tubes in her chest.. but was doing okay

Thursday… my brother calls me and asks for a ride to the hospital… then starts crying. My ultimate weakness is to hear my brother cry… it’s just not something that he does….
Mya isn’t doing well, they think she’s dying….

My mom and I get to the hospital and Mya doesn’t look so good. Her oxygen levels are terrible and they have her on a ventilator at an unbelievable pressure. My brother was waiting for me to get there to speak to the neonatologist so that he could feel comfortable that they were telling him the truth about her prognosis. Which unfortunately, they were. The baby’s mom was at another hospital and they were waiting for her to get there to make the decision to withdraw life support. So my poor brother is there watching his daughter die and waiting for his girlfriend to arrive. The docs at the hospital were fabulous and they made sure Mya stayed alive until her mom got there. I was able to spend a couple hours with my beautiful little niece, holding her hand and stroking her little face. She looks just like my brother, even sleeps in the same strange position. She has his bushy eyebrows and his extra long eyelashes (which I have always wanted).

As soon as my brother’s girlfriend got to the hospital, Mya went to be one of the angels… I was so glad to have gotten the chance to meet her. We cried as they baptized her and got her dressed. Then, to diffuse the situation, I started cracking jokes with my brother. He knows that’s how we do things, we start laughing and things get a little better.

Coach showed me once again why I am lucky to have met him. I called him to tell him the baby was gone and he immediately asked if he should come to the hospital. Me being the independent person that I am, I told him no need. He came anyway. By the time he got there on the bus, we had already left the hospital. I met him at the bus stop and he took my mom and I to dinner (we hadn’t eaten all day). He knows how hard it is for me to cry so he just held me. I really needed that.

So goodbye my beautiful niece, I will see you again….

So I decided not to write about the ER yet… got a bigger fish to fry (as my momma would say). A much more serious issue

I am spending the next month on a Women’s Health rotation. I really enjoy working with women (especially younger women). Men are a little more difficult for me, mostly because I get very little practice because most men hate to go to the doctor (please encourage the men in your life to take care of his health… duck tape and ‘tussin will not cure everything)

I spent yesterday in the Women’s HIV clinic. Enlightening to say the least. It’s sad that 25 years after the first cases of HIV, we are still operating on stereotypes and fear. If you are gay.. HIV is for you. If you do drugs.. HIV is for you. HIV is still the “other people’s” disease despite the fact that YOUNG MINORITY women are the fastest growing population contracting HIV.

Let me draw y’all some pictures:
1. Patient A: 27 year old PREGNANT African American woman who has had HIV for the past 5 years. She does not drink, does not smoke, has never used IV drugs. She was in a monogamous relationship for years when she found out as part of her pre-natal screening. She has all of her teeth, she is not skinny… in other words she does not look like “Pookie”.

2. Patient B: 16 year old African American woman who recently found out she has HIV. She too is pregnant. She was raped at age 14 but this does not seem to be the source of her infection. She has engaged in risky sexual behavior possibly as a reaction to her rape. She is a bright, vibrant young woman .. she does not look like “Pookie”

3. Patient C: 68 year old African American woman. The source of her infection is unknown. She is a grandmother living with HIV and raising her children.

I could go on and on and on about the beautiful young women I met in the clinic yesterday. But what I want you to take home from this is that HIV affects women like me, like my sisters, like my mother, like my grandmother. It is not a punishment, it is an INFECTION. Get tested and like we learned from Diva In Demand GO GET THE RESULTS. If you have someone in your life who is affected by this disease (and we probably all do, whether we know it or not), look out for them, encourage them, help to dispel the myths because you can’t look at a person and tell if they have HIV. If you are having sex with someone other than yourself… get regular STD testing (every 6 months) because you never know!

Ok so I haven’t blogged in a few days… not that anybody is reading…

Decisions were made… I’m moving in with Coach. I haven’t told my sister yet because everytime I go to the house, she is either not there or asleep.

I am so in love with this man! Did I tell you all that I turned him into a blogger? He does his take on sports and entertainment at http://theworldaccordingtoac.blogspot.com

I’m even becoming domestic again. I am on my ER rotation right now so my hours are screwy. I worked 11pm to 7am on Monday then slept from 7:30 to 3. Since I was up, I decided to cook dinner for my sweetie and take him to his 2nd job. I wanted it to be a surprise so I told him I needed to chat with him about something. When I got there with his dinner, he was soooo surprised. Makes my day to make his day. That’s what love is all about to me.. digging deep and doing something small from the heart just because!

I have so much to write about (especially about the emergency room). Got a meeting in a few so I’ll catch up with the bloggers and then write a new post later.

So I can finally say the drought is over! It was certainly worth the wait and that’s all I will say on that matter. Grown-up fun with someone you are really diggin is Fantabulous

But anywhoo, I guess I’m enjoying my “titleless non-relationship” with Coach. We spent all day Sunday just relaxing and chit chatting. It was pretty cool. I have learned not to push the “relationship” talk because I watch his actions more than listen to all of his “fears”.

We were both in a mushy sort of mood so there were lots of compliments and affectionate words flowing. That’s rare for me because I tend to keep my feelings bottled up because I don’t like being vulnerable. I find myself opening up a space for him in my life and although I want to run from it, something in his spirit just keeps calling me. I really enjoy being around him, even when we’re just breathing in the same air and watching one another sleep (we tend to nap at different times). I’m looking forward to this week because it is his b-day week (also known as “Coach Appreciation Week”) so I get the opportunity to spoil him rotten. His birthday gift is purchased and personalized, the ingredients for his cake are in the kitchen, his cards are already signed. I love taking a moment (with a sanctioned holiday) to tell someone I appreciate them. I had the hardest time finding a non-funny card because all of the cards skip right from “homey” to “husband”. Where are the cards for “I’m getting to know you and I think you’re special”? They used to sell those a few years back. Now everything is “my love” or “my husband”. We aren’t there yet. So I got a “less than hilarious” card and wrote a little note in it. Of course I’m nervous about him reading it (even though it isn’t that mushy). I sent him an evite for his birthday dinner (even though it’s just the two of us) and the nut job rsvp’d maybe to make me laugh. I kinda figured he would do that I love a man with a sick and twisted sense of humor.

Ok enough of my sappy mushiness. I guess I shall get ready for another day of studying tomorrow. My baby (my god-brother) graduates from 8th grade tomorrow and he’s the salutatorian so I have to be front and center. Toodles!

I’m walking in the March of Dimes WalkAmerica 10K walk this weekend. The walk benefits research about prematurity and other threats to babies lives. Wanna donate? Go to http://www.walkamerica.org/RashidaGray (hey, a sister is trying to get a golf shirt)

How about my friend asked me “Is there a specific reason you chose this particular charity?” . My answer was “No, dude I have no hidden long lost babies to hide”. Like he is the only over 30 childless person on earth I do however have a couple of friends who had premature infants (one died and the other is thriving). I think it’s a great cause and one of my friends from high school is a team captain.

Ok that’s it, back to work.

How could I have possibly forgotten to tell this story?

Y’all I had drama from over 3,000 miles away!

So some of you may remember I was diggin this guy who I was friends with when I was in the Army. He is, by the way, married (a fact that I knew, I know he’s truly unhappy, and I was willing to ignore for a minute- but only a minute).

Ok but that’s not the point of the story.

I came in at 645am from hanging out all night with one of my friends. My phone rings. It’s Germany. I was running late for work so I figured I’d call him back on the way to work. We’re still friends, talk all the time. The phone rings again. Missed call. Germany. Yet again. Missed call. Germany. I figure something serious must be going on! So I call back.

A woman answers the phone. (more…)